Another Compulsion of Mine
Onychophagia or nail biting and neurotic excoriations, dermatillomania or Compulsive Skin Picking (CSP), call them both what you like. They make up a good part of my problems. They are also potentially part of OCD. I am extremely embarrassed by these compulsions of mine as they serve to remind me (once I become aware that I'm engaging in the behaviour again) how far from perfect I truly am.
If you need clearer definitions here are 3 fairly concise sources:
http://www.homestead.com/westsuffolkpsych/SkinPicking.html
http://www.ocdla.com/compulsiveskinpicking.html
http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocf_0008.htm
I have always been a nail biter, since childhood. If the nail is uneven (as it usually is, due to my nail biting) or if there's a "snag" on my nail or some peeling, I MUST "take care of it". I've tried using a nail file and/or trimmers but there's always some sort of roughness that remains. Until recently, I've been fortunate enough not to have gotten any infections in or around the nail bed. I am prone to biting them down to the point where my fingertips are tender and hypersensitive. Sadly, this isn't the worst of my problems or I'd be doing pretty well.
Then there's the skin picking. I vaguely recall picking at my scalp as kid, but not to the extent it's become. My scalp has sores from picking, my back has a few permanent marks from picking and I have some other spots on me that bear the marks of chronic, obsessive/compulsive picking. In the past, I have been known to taking a strong magnifying mirror into my bedroom, lie down on my bed with a bright light angled just so and tweezers and a blemish extruder in my hand and go at my face, neck and chest.
Why do I partake in either behaviour? Sometimes, it is born out of the desperate NEED to smooth the surface. Moles, pimples, scabs, dried skin, whatever. They scream for attention. Other times, like with my scalp or biting my nails, it seems to increase when I'm upset or under stress (well, that's almost always, so maybe it's more like "extreme stress"). The remaining time seems to occur during periods of boredom.
When occuring during boredom and sometimes during duress, I can actually stop myself much of the time, as long as I'm aware I'm doing the picking or biting in the first place. I can even control some of the "needed" picking, but not enough to avoid damaging my skin. I've been very lucky not to have pits or marks on my face as a result of my handiwork, as it were.
All in all, I don't have enough control over it to avoid feeling like a huge loser.
On a slightly different subject, we have an appointment for my daughter to see a psychologist that specializes in working with children and adolescents next Wednesday. I have very mixed feelings about it but mostly, I hope there we shall find some help for her depression/bipolar and/or OCD(if that's part of the diagnosis).
If you need clearer definitions here are 3 fairly concise sources:
http://www.homestead.com/westsuffolkpsych/SkinPicking.html
http://www.ocdla.com/compulsiveskinpicking.html
http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocf_0008.htm
I have always been a nail biter, since childhood. If the nail is uneven (as it usually is, due to my nail biting) or if there's a "snag" on my nail or some peeling, I MUST "take care of it". I've tried using a nail file and/or trimmers but there's always some sort of roughness that remains. Until recently, I've been fortunate enough not to have gotten any infections in or around the nail bed. I am prone to biting them down to the point where my fingertips are tender and hypersensitive. Sadly, this isn't the worst of my problems or I'd be doing pretty well.
Then there's the skin picking. I vaguely recall picking at my scalp as kid, but not to the extent it's become. My scalp has sores from picking, my back has a few permanent marks from picking and I have some other spots on me that bear the marks of chronic, obsessive/compulsive picking. In the past, I have been known to taking a strong magnifying mirror into my bedroom, lie down on my bed with a bright light angled just so and tweezers and a blemish extruder in my hand and go at my face, neck and chest.
Why do I partake in either behaviour? Sometimes, it is born out of the desperate NEED to smooth the surface. Moles, pimples, scabs, dried skin, whatever. They scream for attention. Other times, like with my scalp or biting my nails, it seems to increase when I'm upset or under stress (well, that's almost always, so maybe it's more like "extreme stress"). The remaining time seems to occur during periods of boredom.
When occuring during boredom and sometimes during duress, I can actually stop myself much of the time, as long as I'm aware I'm doing the picking or biting in the first place. I can even control some of the "needed" picking, but not enough to avoid damaging my skin. I've been very lucky not to have pits or marks on my face as a result of my handiwork, as it were.
All in all, I don't have enough control over it to avoid feeling like a huge loser.
On a slightly different subject, we have an appointment for my daughter to see a psychologist that specializes in working with children and adolescents next Wednesday. I have very mixed feelings about it but mostly, I hope there we shall find some help for her depression/bipolar and/or OCD(if that's part of the diagnosis).
posted by Xintara | 10/11/2004 08:05:00 AM
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